OIRB was never meant to be a fashion critic blog. But watching the French Tennis Open this weekend, I just so happened to catch a glimpse of a certain Bethanie Mattek Sands’ match against something something Lisicki. And it was mesmerizing.
Bethanie is American, ranked 170 in the WTA. However, in our horrible tennis style ranking, she is an obvious number 1. Or is she? Here is our top 5 horrible tennis styles.
5. Serena Williams
The motorcycle / hells angels from outer-space look, by Serena Williams. Good enough to make number 5.
I especially like the leather shin guards.
4. Maria Sharapova
The mermaid-look was a long shot, even for Maria.
Obviosuly, Nike recently hired the people who did Jenifer Lopez’s provocative Versace rainforest dress at the oscars back in 2000.
The question left unanswered here is: how can you be so pretty and look so bad?
3. King Joffrey
The fact Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones is competing in the women’s top 5 probably won’t come to you as a major shock. His douchy bandana and pipe tennis-look was good enough to beat Serena and Maria.
Not a real tennis racket, you say? Try telling him that and you just might get yourself killed. Or at least yelled at and sentenced to death.
Anyway, badass King J sits at number 3.
2. Bethanie Mattek Sands
She tried her hardest, but she could only make second. Despite these unbelievabl(y ugly) outifts.
This was yesterday:
The patriotic baseball player look.
What are you thinking: more Jane or Tarzan?
Breasts are Jane-like but biceps and and shoulders are screaming Tarzan.
1. Venus Williams
This was a close one.
Mistaking her sexy (or not) night gown for her tennis outfit, Venus Williams shocked the sports world with a skin color panties. Everyone thought she was naked, and… well, she almost was.
Good enough for numero uno in our horrible tennis outfits top 5.
Ok. Now you’re just doing it on purpose.