Story of the week:
A man accused of dumping tree parts on a Detroit street tells a reporter “I don’t listen to women.” The man – Ihor Stetkewycz of Warren, Michigan – also claims to be from Mars.
“I’m not mister clean. I’m mister Clean UP.”
In case you have a life when you aren’t trolling amateur blogs, you probably have enver heard of this disturbing website:
Man oh man.
So this is basically an animal crime database where animal cruelty is recorded.
And although here at OIRB we are all but for animal cruelty (especially against honey badgers… hold that thought), there are some pretty sadly famous people on this site worth taking a look at.
For instance…. (drum rolllllllllllllll) Bryan James Hathaway… who stole a CAR, went into the woods with it, found a dead deer and … had sex with it? This is taking “Man vs. Wild” to a whole new level.
But he is not the only person with a weird animal problem.
Our next guest wants to “Eat a badger with a fork”.
You’ve guessed it, who else but our favourite german dude: Flula.
Uh, Oh. This wasn’t a great idea. Nice duck face by the way.
“And I would have arm-wrestled dinosaurs, prevented WW2 by killing Hitler during a commando operation, stopped the tsunami with my incredible dam building powers.. and more. and there would have been alot of blood, each time”.
First of all, we all know that Jack Bauer is the only one who could pull off something like that.
And second of all, what the fuck dude.
This is almost as inappropriate as that guy showing his weiner on that kids clothing ad.
(absolutely no link there, in fact)
Someone tell him they ask the bad guys he defeats in movies to lose ON PURPOSE.
Demon man may just have been beaten out for the title of wackiest face piercing combination.
Straight out of your worst nightmares, we proudly present: “Caged-eye vampire man”:
There’s a deranged young man if I’ve ever seen one. Why vampire? Well, there are the fangs, of course. And the fact he seems to be purchasing sunscreen at his local 7/11 (see background).
If we were to determine where the capital for WTFness really was, I think Japan would have many strong arguments.
Half of the stuff that happens there is… awkward. And mostly really cool.
Ok, sometimes inappropriate.
But we love inappropriate.
Like this tag line for a sale in a japanese store:
That’s a fuckin’ sale if I’ve ever seen one (I haven’t).
But it doesn’t stop there.
Innovative advertising techniques put aside, the japanese have at least one other thing that beats… anything anyone else has ever seen.
A transformer owl.
Forget iphones and cars, I want one of those for christmas next year.
Ever felt an urgent need to cut through dead pigs with swords and two handed machetes?
These sword salesmen have.
Watch as two of the biggest posers to ever be on youtube show you their skills cutting up bamboo trunks and soda bottles.
Unfortunately, they DID NOT stop there.
Next up: special forces shovels.
“Now that’s a sharp shovel”
If you are bored check out the 18,000 other videos they made.
Chistmas is always a goog excuse to send out a shameful family protrait to all your loved ones.
And since family xmas photos usually come right after halloween, people get extremely confused and start dressing up as teenage mutant ninja turtles or Adam and Eve.
Look at this dysfunctional group:
It’s also the opportunity for people to display their classiest outfits for the world to see.
Shirt should read: “I should never have been allowed to father a child”
What better chance to get awkwardly naked and show off your man boobs?
Or finally throw on those one-piece jammies you’d gotten at that yard sale.
Or wear a slutty chritmas latex dress while posing next to your young children?
None of it has to make sense: you could pose in front of a cheetah killing an antilope.
But, who am I to be openly criticizing people here. Christmas is a time for love and tolerance. Everyone should be allowed to have a heart-warming talk on Santa’s lap.
It just puts a smile on your face, doesn’t it.
Laugh but don’t make fun.
“Seriously, look in you’re freaking heart!”
I didn’t think I’d post anything about the Penn state / Sandusky child abuse deal because, c’mon let’s face it, despite the scary rednecks, shithead dating vids, cat swinging drunks, sith ladies, demon men (the list goes on)… this was supposed to be a happy place.
That’s until the BBC decided to air this:
Cleverly inappropriate. Nicely done, Great Britain.
Oh and BTW, how is the white house relevant here?
You tell me.